November 2009
6 posts
7 tags
Depression 101: Wrenches
Sometimes getting up is the worst fate of all when you suffer from depression because just when you see a little light, life throws a wrench and knocks you on your ass… Show off your vanity URL’s in your facebook fanpage… http://cybersweetness.com Posted via email from Gebalove | Comment »
5 tags
Trying to find the energy to keep going
The task at hand is a large one. I have to reach inside myself and find the strength to make my dreams happen… it is not an easy thing to do. In 2 months I have to beat my addictions, I have to turn each of my blogs into a success by being engaging enough to get people to read them. I have to get all my 9 youtube channels to partner and hope to hell that is enough money where I am able to...
The things we don't want to admit...
In a moment when the sadness goes away you go to a mall and with all the care in the world you make a care package for a girl who is starting school again.. you pay $80 to send it to her… and then 3 months later you get a package in the male with COD for $80… it is the package.. your mom is there.. you say it likely got stopped at the boarder.. the guy says no it just wasn’t...
6 tags
Depression 101: Slave to your emotion
I made this video about depression and how often it is like a domino effect. This was a comment made by a tuber: “Seems like you understand the way your mind works and your thought processes… I think having that knowledge should be able to help you overcome it. Because you know that you think that way, so when you chose the “wrong” option, you should make yourself think...
8 tags
I do not want to fall asleep...
Here I sit at 10 am in the morning. It is time to go to bed for me because this is the pattern my life without a job has taken. I have 2 months left to find my way back to the emotional stability to find a job that pays $2500 take home a month or bad things will happen. People look at me and think I am fine. The tree only falls in the forest when we see it fall. They do not see the inner...
Depression 101: The Domino Effect
http://www.youtube.com/AsathecomicTV2 said about ‘Suicidal Tweets + Rhianna Goes Rated R! This is igebadia’s take at gebalove… I have a fractured mind…. they call me igebadia http://youtube.com/gebalove Posted via email from Gebalove | Comment »
October 2009
2 posts
I have found peace
Sometimes it takes a friend being cruel to truly love you. There have been two woman in my life who loved me enough to be cruel so I might find my way. See happiness cannot be found in another. Happiness can only be found when it is found within us. When we start to take control of our lives and look inside us for strength. I am starting to find that… something inside me which I had...
12 tags
The ups and downs of being emotional..
The problem with trying to get clean.. to let go of all the vices that come with depression is the body tells the mind no. The mind then tells the heart there are many good reasons to need a drink or a smoke to survive. The main one being life sucks if forced to live it without some kind of high. It is always the same way with me. Just when I start feeling good enough to beat my vices...
September 2009
20 posts
RT @iShatOnU iShatOnU & Shat Nation http://retwt.me/k3BD
RT @iShatOnU iShatOnU & Shat Nation http://retwt.me/8256
RT @iShatOnU iShatOnU & Shat Nation http://retwt.me/cpyz
life http://post.ly/5pJT
life
I don’t like life very much right now.. I find where I live hard to handle cause it is like waking up each day and seeing all the things I have failed at in my life… I want so much to move to malta where I have friends.. people I can talk to but I need to save $10000… I know if I apply myself to my youtube channels and share my stories it will be easy enough but I find it so hard...
http://mtlmo.xrt.me here is the link to prove it..
woman are fucken insane.. or drive you insane
go irish.. kick michagans ass
we pay for the sins of others in life..
feeling ok today… I wonder how long that will last..
No emails…not even a hey…
why do I never get love.. it is as if I am cursed… and now I am so broken inside I sit alone looking at my email..hoping for her words
I wish life was different.. I wish I could go back and do it over again..be not broken..y god did u destroy me at 13teen..
my cat won’t leave me alone.. what an amazing thing cats are and annoying sometimes
I am watching the rookie right now.. I need noise..
my heart echos like an empty cavern… alone I walk in the shadows of nothingness
why can’t people see evolution is how god made man.. the bible is about how men should live
I sleepwalk through life.. never knowing one reality from the next…always hoping life will ahppen..too afraid to make it happen..
there is a darkness.. a chasm inside me I will never escape..I long for the sleep that will never end..
http://ogm1y.xrt.me has there ever been a more profound word than MILF?
August 2009
33 posts
moment of truth
Malta… tis a dream http://post.ly/3HdG
Malta... tis a dream
It is all I want in life… to move to malta where I have friends… to wake up each morning to the smell of the salty air.. to dance with seagals.. although they have none… but seagals are the sailers lost at see… it is how I will go…. I will take a boat into a stormy night… challenge the untamed sea.. and join captain ahab beneath its salty grasp… that is if...
http://mjr.xrt.me Tales of the penis… mommy dearest
I am afraid http://post.ly/36qw
I am afraid
Edmonton will always be a prison to me.. for those who have had the police come to your door and handcuffs placed on them.. they will understand what that means…. it is just a doctors appointment.. to get my IE papers signed and yet I would rather forgo the check and simply fall asleep in my bed… to be around people.. to be near people… I am fearful… my heart shudders.. but...
doesn’t know how to deal with family
it is not her fault… there were lots of reasons… she is a good person… it was me who ruined it not her…… http://post.ly/2p02
yes and no.. see the thing is mabel the hard truth is I never gave her a chance to love me… I always rush… you… http://post.ly/2p02
Hard truths http://post.ly/2qcc
Hard truths
In the recent post I talked about how being a yoyo was the reason I will never let myself close to someone and it is not…. she was a yoyo because she sensed in me a need she could never fill.. I needed love too much.. I needed her too much… and it wasn’t fair… if my heart was like the knights of the round table then all she could be.. all love of another should have to be...
the worst is when family reads your bogs and then gets all worried…
why I don’t go outside http://post.ly/2pYS
Things we never say http://post.ly/2p02
why I don't go outside
Most poeple don’t really understand depression or how it works. They think it is in our heads and I am sure some of it is.. but for a lot of us it manifests itself in real physical symptoms.. mine is usually in the right side of my chest.. for a long time I thought I was having heart attacks but my doctor said it was just muscles spasming as a result of a panic attack in my chest. Today I...
Things we never say
It is funny how Malta girl says I restored her faith in male female ever after love because she restored my faith in friendship… just she destroyed my faith in ever after love.. she treated me like a yoyo.. one day she was into me and the next she was not… over and over she did this… I wish I had the heart to describe in detail the words she said and then how she took it away.. I...
before you can find love you have to find yourself
another saturday night with the PC…
haven’t gone out in 3 months..
today is a better day, love may never be mine but friendship is
Trapped in a prison fighting to find a way to a friend.. http://post.ly/2VPK
Trapped in a prison fighting to find a way to a...
I am just an ordinary guy… who could of be great… maybe extrodinary but I have a broken heart… broken by life. by things that were beyond control yet I still cannot forgive myself for the mistakes I have made.. I wake up each day hoping to sleep a little longer to make the day go by quicker.. I pray I will have enough motivation to do a nice video… to market my facebook...